If you are a woman of a certain age, you’ve probably heard how life gets better as you age but let's be real.... nobody talks about the other side of aging. Body and skin changes, wrinkles, weight gain, aches and pains, forgetfulness, lack of energy and motivation, not to mention the blow to your self- confidence! Aging literally sneaks up on you and if you are unprepared or unaware, you’ll think you’re losing your mind! I wish I'd had an amazing group of elder women to have these important conversations with. Having important conversations with those who care for us like doctors, hair stylists, and therapists can also
serve as a method of “checking in.” Other women tell us all the time to enjoy our youth while it lasts but they don’t really share any strategies, tips or sound advice on how to do just that. As women we’ve become a community of silent sufferers when we really should share our tips and secrets to success. It is our duty to educate ourselves, one another and those who come behind us as to how to preserve ourselves. In my experience, the changes came on so subtly that at one point I did not recognize myself. It was as though I had become this whole other person and not in a good way. Because my spirituality is a grounding force in my life, I needed to revert to my spiritual connection with who I know as God. Recalibrating, re-centering to discover who I have been and who I am meant to become. I understand that there is no “one size” solution for every woman but most women have a lot in common and could benefit from the collective sharing of experiences.
Let’s deal with some limiting beliefs that we must be aware of. Let’s ensure that we’re doing inner and outer work to avoid taking on these sometimes-negative beliefs:
1. “I’m too old to pursue my dreams”
This belief can shut down ambition and the desire to explore new opportunities, leading to a sense of missed potential and diminished self-worth. As a beauty professional who has encountered hundreds of women from diverse backgrounds, I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard this. Since I am not one to believe in age limitations, it always leaves me wondering at which stage does this belief show up for us.
One way to counter this belief is by recognizing that every stage of life brings unique strengths and opportunities. Your experiences are assets that can help you succeed. Set small, achievable goals related to your dream and celebrate each win along the way. Solicit support and encouragement from those you trust and look for role models or stories of women who reinvented themselves later in life!
2. “My worth is tied solely to my appearance.” By equating value with physical looks, aging changes can feel like a loss of self, undermining confidence and self-acceptance. Hair and skin changes were a wake-up call for me! It’s almost like I was in a state of denial and subconsciously avoided accepting the subtle signs of aging. Grey and thinning hair, sagging cheeks, weight gain and other natural changes that occur with aging were difficult to process. After educating myself to the signs of aging and what happens with the female body as it ages, I had to have a real conversation with myself. It was important to understand that these things are normal, and they happen to everyone.
Realizing that you are more than your appearance is important. You are the 3D expression of spirit and that cannot be measured, you are limitless!
Always counter this belief by practicing self-affirmation. Daily affirmations focusing on your inner qualities can help shift your focus from appearance to your true value. Invest in activities that nurture your body, mind, and spirit -- like yoga, meditation, or creative hobbies – to build a well-rounded sense of self-worth. Focus on what you love by dedicating time to activities that bring you joy and allow you to shine from within!
3. “I can no longer learn or adapt.”
Like the first limiting belief of “being too old” this limiting belief will have a negative impact on personal growth, making it harder to embrace new challenges and skills, which in turn restricts the sense of empowerment and ongoing relevance. In this area it was important for me to discover the things that contribute to balanced mental well-being. Recognizing the things that helped me cope with stress as well as those that were stress inducing was a huge factor in having a healthy balance. Exercising, carving out time for solitude and relaxation, spending time being creative and working with my hands brought a sense of calm. It is imperative to adopt a growth mindset and remind yourself that learning is a lifelong journey. The brain can adapt at any age. Engage in new experiences. Take a class, try a new hobby, or join a group where learning is encouraged. Celebrate small wins by recognizing every new skill you acquire, no matter how minor, as a victory!
The goal is to become fearless with age. You have overcome many obstacles in your life and continue to do so each new day. “You are not getting old; you are growing resilient!”
Are you in need of Confidence Coaching? Book a session with me and let's get you back on the road to resilience!
